As you all know I have been away from my blog for a few weeks and whenever people asked why I just told them I preparing was for an exam which I really was preparing for but then the real reason I put blogging aside was because I constantly felt like I wasn’t doing enough,I felt really choked up with all the worries in my head,I felt like I was taken for granted by people I genuinely cared about,couldn’t pray either and lots more.
I just felt completely blank,confused,sad. Let’s just say I felt a billion things all at once and it got too heavy for me to bear and I still was not willing to share my problems with anyone.It really just felt like I was comfortable in my misery.
Found it hard to share anything on my blog,even almost deleted it because I was completely messed up in the head.
Stayed away from close ones who were beginning to notice me fade away simply because I wanted to avoid the ” what’s wrong with you” question..
Then I realized everything went wrong the week I had just talked to myself about giving up on certain people,doing whatever I wanted, accomplishing so much I had in my mind etc.
The thought of shutting few people out of my life felt so heartbreaking even my flesh could not handle it even when I knew it was the best thing to do.
The fear of finally feeling like an adult was just so overwhelming .
So I shut out totally,cried sometimes,listened the negative version of me telling me it was okay to drown myself in my problems.
But I started opening up in tiny bits to those around me and here I am with the strength to share an update on my life with people I don’t even know and it really feels good.
So dear loved ones never think it’s okay to find comfort in being lonely,sad,depressed etc it only gets worse listening to sad songs simply because you feel miserable.
That’s building a pool of your problems and practicing different swimming skills in it.
Stay happy no matter what.